Photo by Ray Aucott on Unsplash

Parashat Achrei Mot “After Death”
By Mollie Rose, Camp Program Manager 

Have you ever caught yourself saying, “It’s ok, I’ll make up for it on Yom Kippur this year” after making a mistake? It’s interesting when we think about atonement in Judaism, as we automatically jump to Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the year.

So, why do we wait to atone on Yom Kippur instead of apologizing to God for whatever “sin” we committed throughout the year? God commanded that on the tenth day of the seventh month, the practice of self-denial, no work, and cleanliness are to be focused on. It is a day of self-reflection and what some may see as a fresh start.

Traditionally before Yom Kippur, there is a custom to hold a chicken and circulate it above one’s head, passing their transgressions onto the animal, as Aaron (brother of Moses) did to a live goat as God commanded him to do so for the fault of the Israelites. This is where we might get the term “scapegoat” from (fun fact). As an animal lover, I can’t help but wonder if those who are passing their transgressions onto a chicken are atoning for that as well? I mean, what did the chicken
ever do?!

Similarly, we tend to blame ourselves and become the “scapegoat” or “scape-chicken” in modern terminology. We consistently say sorry for things we shouldn’t be sorry for without giving it any thought. God said to Moses, “You must keep my laws and my norms, and you must not do any abhorrent things, neither the citizen nor the stranger who resides among you; lest you defile yourselves through them….”. While God has expectations of us to fulfil specific mitzvot and abide by laws that may not align with our personal feelings or actions, we must differentiate between apologizing to God or apologizing to ourselves.

We can say sorry to God for not abiding laws in Judaism, but we cannot say sorry to ourselves for the path we choose in life and our practice. We can personally say sorry only when we do not show love, kindness, and patience to ourselves. We cannot make ourselves the “scapegoat” anymore, nor do we always need one when we make mistakes.